When the dream dies
What do you do when something you’ve worked for many years stays just out of reach? How do we regroup when goals we’ve set become impossible to achieve?
What happens when the dream dies?
For the last ten years of my career, I worked to prepare for a retirement dream–setting up a small horse farm that would enable us to ride, train, and care for our own horses; offer lessons to young students; and board horses for others.
When I say–prepare–I mean financially–acquiring land to build a barn, buying equipment for building and hay harvesting, purchasing additional horses–and developing knowledge (taking lessons myself in riding and teaching). I’m a “do-ahead” type person and I wanted to be ready when retirement time came.
But, the dream fell apart shortly after my retirement. It wasn’t shared by everyone in my family and there were some things I couldn’t do. I’m not an engineer, builder, or operator of heavy equipment.
As I tried to deal with the loss of what I thought was our dream, I struggled. We’d mapped out a plan, set up a timeline, and invested time and money. But progress stopped.
I questioned, “Why God, after all these years of planning and preparing, why is our dream dying?”
The obvious answer could be–it wasn’t our dream, just mine. But, in this particular case, we’d had numerous family meetings and everyone had been on board–at the time.
That turned out to be the key–for the others involved, as time passed, a horse farm was no longer their dream–only mine.
I wish they’d told me…
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:8-11)
God spoke to me in my lament. “Dream a different dream,” He said.
Now, many years later, I realize God had a different plan for me. The dream I’d worked so hard for wasn’t possible because others involved moved on to different interests. While it would have been better if they’d told me (sigh…), I understand plans change and God has a reason.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, “plan to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
Have you had to move on from a dream that died? How did God help you go forward? What did you learn from the experience?
It’s tough when our dreams become out of reach or when we lose trust in those with whom we have dreamed.
But there is One on whom we can always depend.
I am convinced the neither death not life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)
I pray we always have dreams to strive toward and we always remember our Lord and Savior is faithful and trustworthy.
The scripture Isaiah 55:8-11 has been front and center for me lately. Thank you, Katherine for the encouragement to dream a different dream.
When we experience loss, often we lose a dream as well. Thinking of you, Marilyn, and wishing you dreams that bring joy and blessings.
Thanks for a difficult reminder, Katherine. Blessings on your dreams.
Thank you for sending your kind wishes for blessings, Diana. Praying those for you as well.
Thank you Katherine. Several dreams in my life never came to fruition. I now realize they were my dreams not God’s will. He had something better in mind, but I had to find it! Love this post. Thank you for sharing your heart.
At the time of the lost dream, it may be hard to see that God’s plan is better, but in time, we recognize He knows best. You’ve pointed out a key point, Lisa, if we lose a dream, it’s likely because it wasn’t God’s will. Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts to help us understand why losing dreams can be the right pathway. Thank you for your kind encouragement. Wishing you joy and blessings!
Katherine, I thought of the Proverb, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” I hope your new dreams will be realized and be a tree of life for you. Many lessons in this for lots of us. Sometimes we’re too distracted to get in touch with our shifting desires. And this leads to disappointing people we love when we finally tune into what’s going on inside of us. Trusting God’s sovereignty is an ongoing exercise in faith.
I’m so glad you shared your thoughts, Debbie. Your insight is very helpful. You’ve reminded us of the importance of focusing on our Father’s will, not our own. He is trustworthy and faithful through every trial. He is strong when we are weak. We are so blessed.
God is always reliable. Keep dreaming, Katherine. God bless!
Dreams are important, aren’t they? Thank you, Nancy, for encouraging us to dream and sharing the reminder of God’s faithfulness.
I’ve had this happen when I changed to what I thought was my dream job to find out quickly that it was a nightmare. I’m praying that your “different dream” turns out to be more wonderful than you ever imagined.
Thank you for your prayers, Suzanne. I hope you’re not still in the nightmare job. There are few things more difficult than going to work every day in an unbearable situation. I’m grateful for your encouragement and wishing you continued blessing in you work and ministry.
I’ve definitely experienced disillusionment throughout a tough season of parenting. But God has continued to bring beauty out of it.
How sweet of the Lord to whisper over your lament, “Dream a different dream”. Even if circumstances work to derail a future dream, we can stand firm on his unchanging promise and know eternity is the greatest reality we await during our earthly sojourn.
I look forward to the realty of our Father’s eternal love for us and being together with my loved ones gone before me. Thank you for the reminder of God’s firm foundation that grants me hope and promise. May God continue to bless you and your family and you service to Him.
As I read this I hurt for you. But I also would have wagered before reading that you were living your dream. Teaching, writing for God, caring for horses, enjoying nature — you inspire so many. I think you’re right where God can most use you!
Thank you for your message of hope and encouragement, Candyce. I’m so grateful. Wishing you joy and blessings, my friend–and sunshine!
I sometimes think my life has been a series of “Dashed Dreams”, but when I pause and look back upon I can see how God used those things to move me from my dream to His plan. If my “dreams” had not fallen through or become unrealized in some cases, then I would have missed out on some of the most wonderful blessings of my life. Loved this reflective post my friend. Thank you!
My past experiences sound a lot like yours, J.D. Aren’t we blessed that our Father stepped in with His plan? He’s saved us in more ways that one. Praying for you and your Cross-Dubya family.
Just this past Sunday a dream deferred came to life. You see, for many years my hope for our little church was that it prosper into a thriving ministry. Through years of many ups and downs, seemingly more disappointments and setbacks, things were not coming together, and we hadn’t grown as i always dreamed. This past weekend this same fairly small church hosted a Youth Meeting in a local elementary school gym. With the support of fourteen pastors bringing youngsters, the impact was beyond expectation. We were able to host and serve over 300. God blessed the services tremendously and a dozen young people were saved. The answer to the yearning of my heart was revealed. I came to a new understanding that ministry is not always experienced as we expect, that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways. This brought a calm settling to my soul and a gratefulness to my heart.
What a beautiful experience you had this past Sunday, Beckham. I’m so glad you shared with us. When I think of the numbers of people involved and how you all worked together for this special event, it’s clear that God was with you and heaven is rejoicing at the salvation of those young people. Thank you for serving our Lord. May God continue to bless you all in His service.
Great truth to your post. One time, I landed my dream job working for a nonprofit that included travel. Then a year later lost it due to an economic downturn. I felt devastated until I saw God had so many better things planned. Thanks for the encouragement.
I’ve had a similar experience with a job. Like you, God blessed me with the alternative road. Thank you for sharing, Yvonne. Blessings!
This is such an important topic, Katherine, and you’ve pointed us in the right direction. I’ve experienced many course changes, and I suppose more twists and turns lie ahead. But God is directing my life, and I will be not only content, but also joyful with the course He’s laid out for me.
You’ve shared such an important point, Annie. It’s imperative that we recognize God’s plan is the best. While it may be hard to be joyful at the initial change of plan, if we stay on His path, we recognize the wisdom of being with Him on the journey. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. Wishing you continued blessings on the journey, my friend.
I feel like I am in this place right now. Redefining the dream, which is very similar to yours. I know God has a plan and I am trying to stay in line with it.
I guess it must be an ongoing process rather than the way I believed when I was younger–have a dream, work toward it, and be happily ever after. I didn’t realize how much more God had for me to learn along the curving pathway of my journey. Praying for you, Jen.
A beautiful post! Love the verses you shared. Thank you!
Thank you, LuAnn. I’m grateful for your encouragement. Happy Valentine’s Day!